Breakthrough Teaching Method Improves English Language Skills

I recently created a new, trend-setting, patent-pending process that smooths the rough spots in the English language, and in the process helps kids learn to spell better.

Comprised of the simplest of rules, this approach greatly boosts the child's self-esteem, resulting in faster start-to-finish homework times and more opportunity to play Mario Carts Double Dash.

To prove its effectiveness, I reviewed the process with each of my children. These are the results we expect at school:

  • Teacher: Karis, spell "vehicle"
  • Karis: m-u-d-b-u-t-t
  • Teacher: Kyle, spell "hello"
  • Kyle: m-u-d-b-u-t-t
  • Teacher: Kiana, spell "boo"
  • Kiana: m-u-d-b-u-t-t

I feel that this new approach will contribute greatly to the now-lagging No Child Left Behind Act, boosting literacy scores wherever it's deployed.

Detailed instructions on this new method, along with generous licensing terms, are available on request.


  1. HUMMMMM. Mudbutt. My vocabulary expertise tells me that there is a creationist basis for this particular word. That's all I have to say! Mom

  2. Genius! Where do I sign up? Now, my name is difficult to spell, so let me take a crack at it.


    Here is my e-mail:


    Please contact me immediately!